Sean picks up the dogs' toys once in a while. A favorite of his is a bone that both our dogs enjoy playing with. When Sean decided to sit on his bed a few minutes ago, he found that his bed had been taken over by both our large dogs. One of them, our black and white mutt, called The Artful Dodger, stayed on the bed when Sean sat down because Dodger saw Sean was holding "his" bone.

Dodger kept his eyes on the bone and tried, gingerly, to get the bone from Sean several times, but each time Sean just kept the bone out of Dodger's reach. It was a wonderful piece of interaction that I had to get a picture of. After several minutes, Dodger gave up and came out into the living room and lay down, without the bone. Sean is the only person I know who can keep a dog toy away from the dogs without any confrontation whatsoever. He never moves quickly, he never pulls the toy out of the dog's mouth or anything. But the dogs are very careful with Sean. As always, animals can teach us a lot! More on horses in the next post!
Nancy

Yesterday afternoon, we had one of those fabulous Colorado windstorms blow in. As I drove home on the highway, clouds of dust from the fields rose up into huge towers as they blew across the plains. Traffic on the highway even slowed down because the dust looked like smoke from multiple fires.

When I got home, Bailey, our old gelding, was out munching on his 10 acres, but he was very happy to see me drive in. Usually he couldn't care less. He walked after me and arrived at the spot where I parked the car. Looking down the slope to the farmland east of us, more dust towers were making their way north. The south wind was relentless! Bailey wanted IN to the paddock. He wanted his shelter and he wanted it NOW. I walked up to the paddock gate and watched as Bailey came cantering up the hill after me. He couldn't get through the gate fast enough!

This morning, Bailey's limping a little. He doesn't do cantering well, with his stiff front legs. When he canters or gallops, he always pays for it the next day. Hasn't made him any less hungry though. It's a beautiful sunny morning now, and Bailey wants OUT and he wants out NOW. Better go do his bidding...
Nancy

Chuparosa and Mick

The title of the post is Chuparosa and Mick but the picture is of Nancy riding Chupy. There's a bit of reasoning behind this. Chupy is the horse that Nancy got so she could ride. And boy, does Nancy love to go horseriding.



So why is this post about me and Rosa? Well I freely confess I am an animal lover, I love wildlife, I love our pets but until recently I have always stood off from Rosa because I was always afraid I would somehow interfere with the training Nancy has been working on with her. Chupy has always looked a little flighty, she is small, has twinkling feet and always looks like she is hurrying off down the street. Nancy has done a lot of studying of various trainers, getting insights from one and the other. Sometimes from Pat Parelli sometimes from reading Mark Rashid's wonderful books, reading up on Bill Dorrance or watching Dennis Reis on RFD TV. All the while working with this "hummingbird". Nancy has made astounding progress and I did not want to tread on her toes.

Rosa is too flighty to really work with Sean, I doubt that she would stand still long enough for us to hoist Sean up on her and Sean is too uncertain to be calm enough to keep her steady. But she and Bailey are the two horses we have so we are faced with the dilemma of how to bring this dancer and Sean together.

Well, maybe this is where I come in because I have my own idiosyncratic way of looking at our pets. I have no idea where it comes from all I know is that it is a big part of me. I think animals do best when they are secure in their positions, when they know what their rights rewards and 'responsibilities' are. Our dogs know, for example, that they get to share my breakfast sandwich with me. When I get up and make my breakfast I go sit down by the table and as my (large) backside is hittng the chair there is a dog on either side of me sitting and wagging and waitiing. They only do this for breakfast and posting this is probably making any dog trainer wince but I don't care. Our dogs know what they are allowed to do and they know they have a place in our hearts and our home.

Nancy and I agree on one thing - pets are for life. We don't sell animals, we don't breed them and if we get a dog, or a horse, then this is their home.

And that is what I am working on with Rosa - she is part of our home, our herd. When she fully realizes it I think she will be a lot less flighty and a lot more secure and Sean is a part of the whole thing.

Will it work? Hmm - stay tuned..

Sean Loves his Mom

This is an article I wrote 4 years ago. Never did succeed in getting it published anywhere..

February 23rd 2001 Sean Loves His Mom

There are many ways for a child to say "I love you". It is one of the payoffs of being a parent after all. Our son Sean was born deaf and blind and 'developmentally disabled' and by February 2001 he was twenty years old. Most of his schooling and the countless hours outside of school have been a constant effort to bridge the large communication gulf between us.

We have grown used to filling in the gaps or reading between the lines so to speak, trying to glean every possible nuance or meaning out of every gesture. Sometimes we seem to get it and other times we just seem to miss it completely. My wife, Nancy, and I had resigned ourselves to the fact that we probably would never get a definitive "I love you" from Sean and we would just have to take it as read.

Then something happened one night with Sean that was big and for once in my life something big happened and I recognized it for what it was.

It began when we noticed Sean had some sort of irritation in his right eye, It was red and he was blinking. Nancy thought it may be pinkeye. She took Sean to the bathroom to wash his eye out with a boric acid solution - something Sean loves when his eyes are dry or irritated. Our bathroom is small; just enough room for one person to stand comfortably in front of the sink. But Nancy had to stand right next to Sean for this eye-washing procedure. She was wedged between Sean on her right and the bathtub to her left. I stood to Sean's right, just at the edge of the doorway, in case an extra pair of hands was needed.

So there we are were, all clustered around the sink in the bathroom, Nancy putting the solution in the little eye-glass thingy, and holding it up to Sean's eye for the rinse. All was going well. At one point, Sean tried to wipe some of the solution from his cheek; Nancy tried to stop him from rubbing his eye at the same time and just then Sean lurched to his left.

He's a big lad, and when he lurched, he bumped Nancy. She was pushed against the bathtub, losing her balance. She shrieked as she fought to regain her balance. It took a second or two to regain it and she grasped the sink to steady herself once she was upright. Sean's eye rinse was all done but Nancy remained a tad shaken.

I held Sean's hand and led him out of the bathroom but he stopped in the doorway and turned back to the bathroom. Nancy was cleaning up the sink area, and wasn't paying any attention. Sean started tapping his chest looking at Nancy. Then he started moving towards her, very gently and carefully and still hitting his chest with his hand - a sign he uses for "give me" while he still looked toward Nancy. He seemed upset and he refused to leave the doorway.

Suddenly I realized what he was doing. When Sean seems upset it's usually if he thinks someone else is upset with him. But this was different. This time he was concerned about Nancy.

He wasn't upset, he was concerned.

He kept moving towards Nancy and looking at her until she moved over to him and kissed him. She actually had to give him several kisses on the cheek until he was satisfied she was OK, only then did he happily go off to his room.

So what's the big "thing"? That's the first time I have ever seen Sean express such obvious concern for how someone else was doing - he was genuinely concerned, and not upset, and wanted to know that Nancy was alright. Once he knew that she was, he was happy.

I was stunned - in Sean's 21 years we have had a lot of fun, tears, and laughter but that night Sean took a step that he has never taken before - he took a great interest and concern in how someone else was doing. Note that it's how someone was doing, not what someone was doing.

I kept waiting for Nancy to realize what had happened but she was all concern for cleaning things up, making sure Sean was comfortable and so on - the general bustling work of Sean's mom. It took me sitting her down a few minutes later and explaining to her what had just happened before she realized it.

For 21 years it has been a one way street pretty much - Nancy loving Sean and taking care of him. We have both gotten used to having to assume that Sean cared for us.

Last night it became a two way street, just for a few moments - Nancy got shown by Sean that he does love her. It may take a long time for a Mom to hear that and finally Nancy got to "hear" it from her son. Sometimes something important happens in front of a person and they don't realise the significance of what they saw. Just for once, just once, I got it right that night.

Mick Wenlock Feb. 23, 2001

Sean's Language

In answer to a comment that was posted, I want to explain how Sean communicates with us and how we communicate to him. First, he does not talk at all. He laughs, he cries, but he doesn't talk. He is totally deaf. His residual vision is so poor that he can't see anything unless it's pretty big, or very brightly colored.

His signing is very limited. He can sign his basic needs - relating to food, to hygiene, to basic needs. He does not have the language needed to express complex or complicated concepts: time, future, etc. His signs are limited to the here and now. He knows some signs for different foods, he knows signs for mother, father, family, car, horse, etc.

A lot of deaf people will agree that the more sign language a person can learn early, the better. Sean's early years were spent in Denmark, where he was born. He attended a special school for the deafblind. There, signing was done around the clock. Sign language was part of his every waking moment. Sean came home on the weekends and went back to school on Monday mornings. A lot of parents of kids there, including us, found it difficult to keep up with the signing our deafblind children were doing. We took classes in order to help bridge the gap.

When we moved to the USA, we found out the unbelievable: that American Sign Language (ASL) was TOTALLY DIFFERENT from Danish Sigh Language. In one move, Sean lost all his language!

In trying to get Sean into school here, we found to our dismay that there were NO programs for the deafblind, although it was a fairly large urban region. There were NO deafblind experts here. Not only were there no deafblind experts, but the local school authorities were much more interested in making sure we didn't create trouble for them, than seeing that our son got appropriate education according to his needs. We heard all the catch phrases about "appropriate education" but the school system did ANYTHING BUT provide it.

It was a very very hard two years. It took that long until Sean started signing using ASL, thanks to the help of an extraordinary woman, Maureen Tesler, the Executive Director at that time, of the Center On Deafness.

With fantastic help from Maureen, who took Sean under her wing and worked with him for 1 hour per week, Sean began to learn and use ASL. Even so, it was a long, slow process for us all to learn ASL. I took classes and tried to teach Sean's dad what I was learning. Sean's dad was holding down 3 jobs at the time, just to make ends meet.

Anyway, Sean began using more and more ASL and he also made up his own signs for things. Maureen was quick to see that and to help us encourage Sean to communicate any way he could!

Another obstacle in the way of Sean's communication, was that we found that every teacher, every school Aide, every person Sean had interaction with during the day, WAS SIGNING DIFFERENTLY to him and demanding DIFFERENT signs back from him!!! Could it be any worse? So everyone was put on a rigid program of signing the same way. It took some weeks for that to take effect, but it did help a lot. Sean, who had been very upset for a large portion of his day (gee!) began to settle down and get back to the happy Sean we knew and loved.

Sometimes Sean just gets mad. Not often, but once in a while. It's my own opinion that those are the times Sean just gets so very frustrated with his lack of language that there's nothing to do but get mad about it. His bouts of upset don't last long, and we do everything we can to help him keep extorverted and interested in his environment. But it's gotta be tough.

Bailey and "Rosa" both enjoyed this morning's treat fest with Sean! After Bailey went out to graze, Sean sat down on his mini-trampline, which is in the 2-acre paddock today, and happily basked in the sun while he fed Rosa some more treats. Rosa is no longer shy around Sean!

Nothing like a treat

We were out this fine Saturday morning in the pasture. We let Bailey out on the rest of the acreage and put some hay up for Chuparosa. "Chupy" as we call her is a horse that can be bribed...

Normally she is flighty and shy but when Sean holds out a treat for her, she can be persuaded.

Well, it's the weekend!

Friday got off to an interesting start when Nancy went into the barn to get some feed and noticed a large snake by the wall. Now I won't say that I have a special place in my heart for our snakish friends but we were happy to see him or her in there as, of course, we have mice running everywhere.

We could not figure out what sort of snake it is - so here is a picture and if you know what type please post an answer!! It was about 5 foot long.

Sean and Pappy

A young Sean (age about 11 or 12) on Pappy

Rocking Bailey

Our old gelding Bailey gets to wander around on our 10 acres every day. At night I put him into the 2 acre paddock with our Paso Fino, but during the day, the rest of the place is his to munch. Since there is an abundance of growth, grasses and weeds, he thinks this is a pretty neat idea.

He is pretty sharp too. As soon as I go out on one of the decks of our house, Bailey magically appears. He thrusts his large head over the railing and proceeds to hit me with his "feed me" vibes. He stares at me with his friendly-eyed look. He is relentless. Neither of us has any doubt who will give in first. Within 2 minutes I go into the house, reach into the bag of "horse candy" or get some cut up carrots and go feed the guy.

Rosa, our Paso Fino, saw all this today of course. She was up in the paddock at the gate. So I walked up the hill and fed her some goodies. She doesn't go out on the acreage because she'd be a balloon within an hour!

Bailey in the meantime, had ambled up to the gate too. He hates being left out of the Goodie Department. I refilled his water bucket, and he stood next to me, hinting that it was time for his hose bath. Over the last 10 days its been in the 90s. We have established the routine that when I fill up his bucket, he gets a hose bath if he stands next to me.

Later, he went down the hill and parked himself, hind leg cocked in the napping position, next to our truck. He napped there in the sun for quite a while. He has made that a favorite napping place. On the weekend, when the car was parked a few feet away from the truck, Bailey wandered over and placed himself exactly between the two vehicles, faced the same way, and napped. A few minutes later when I looked out the kitchen window, Bailey was gently rocking while he napped.

It is an extraordinary feeling to interact with our horses this way. Sean picks up on enthusiasm of people he loves, which is why he has picked up on this horse thing with me. It will be fun to see where it leads!

Part of Sean's day

Nancy likes to take Sean out in the morning to feed the horses. Sean usually loads up the hay cart in the barn and then he will pull it along up to the horses' pasture and throw the hay into their feed bins.

Now, that may not sound like much - but please bear in mind; There is no path - Sean has to walk over the rough ground pulling the cart. There are no railings or guides - all Sean has to support himself is the cart he is pulling. It has taken Nancy a long period of time, working with Sean to get him familiar enough with the route and the surroundings where he can do this with minimal contact.

It's interesting to watch Sean as he manouvers the cart through the gate. Bailey and Rosa are, of course, down at the gate pushing to get into the good stuff but Sean will just push between them. No hesitation, no fear and no aggression. It is fun to watch.

I have included a picture below of Sean and Nancy coming back from feeding time. Enjoy!

Ruff Night

As I got ready to come to work this morning at around 5 am, Nancy
spoke sleepily from the bed to tell me that it had been a "rough night".

A "rough night" can cover a multitude of different things in our
household. I knew that Sean had not been suffering from seizures
otherwise Nancy would have woken me. I went into his room after Nancy
had spoken to me and Sean was awake, sitting up on his bed and
looking pretty chipper. That usually means he has been awake most of
the night.

Which means that Nancy had been getting up. time after time, to
gather Sean up from our sitting room, switch off all the lights he
had turned on, check to see if he knocked anything over and then
hustle his buns back to his bed. And then doing the same thing about
half an hour later. Nancy does the night duty like that so that I can
be in shape to go to work in the morning.

It is exhausting sometimes. Sean is just awake, maybe the weather has
been too hot or maybe he is just full of himself but it means a long,
long night. So then some of our plans for 'what we are going to do
today' go by the wayside.

Oh well.

What is this project?

This is Mick - Sean's dad. I thought I would chime in on this blog.

When Nancy said she wanted to buy a horse some five years ago I confess I was little slow on the uptake. She bought Bailey, an old ranch horse, only marginally rideable but with one great quality - he has seen it all. Sean seemed to take to the new animal in our lives. I would not describe him as wild with excitement, but there again he has not been a great one for interactibg with our pets.

From the start Sean and Bailey seem to have accepted each other. Here is a picture from those first days:



As you know from our earlier entries, Sean loved riding with Pappy but now Sean is a much bigger person. There really is no way for Nancy and Sean to ride together on Bailey and though we tried, very hard, to hoist Sean up on the horse he just would not stay up there.

So we were thinking about it and we decided we wanted Sean to work together with a horse, work and eventually ride him or her and want to do it. We wanted to get Sean to care about a horse. One of the hard things (in my opinion) in dealing with Sean's disabilities is getting him to care about someone else's feelings and wellbeing. Maybe with a big animal like a horse, a horse that really likes people, we could bring this about.

And that is the Sean project.

Hey - if you are reading this - please feel free to suggest, to comment, there are a lot of you out there that have some of the knowledge that could help make this work and we really want to hear from you.

Sean and the Ponies of Summer of 1999

Nancy, Sean's Mom. wrote this as a little story about Sean and his good friend Kevin Bingham.

Sean Wenlock Chronicles
Summer of 1999 and the Ponies

It was the end of the summer. Sean, our 19-year-old son, deaf and blind from birth, had enjoyed the best summer yet. First let me explain that while Sean is totally deaf, he does have some residual sight although very very little. He can see some large things and in familiar surroundings he gets around quite well. Four mornings a week this summer, our neighbor and friend, Kevin, on summer break from college, had taken Sean out to their barn and helped him ride their Indian ponies. The two ponies were siblings and no one but Kevin and his dad could tell them apart. They were traditional looking with brown spots. Kevin of course knew them both very well. The gelding was a bit more mellow than the mare and at the end of the summer, Kevin announced that the gelding, "Carnival", had really taken to Sean. By the end of the summer, Carnival would welcome Sean with a nuzzle or two. The mare, Circus", was not so taken. While the summer workouts did even her out a bit, she still remained the feistier of the two.

During their morning jaunts, Kevin took Sean out to the barn and led one of the two ponies out and would then help Sean onto it This was accomplished in a most peculiar manner. To watch it was amazing. Sean did not like the idea of leaning over the back of the pony and slipping on, although his size would have made it easy. Instead, he stood next to the pony, facing front. Kevin would then lift Sean's right leg up and over while Sean would push himself onto the pony facing frontward. I don't know how Kevin managed it because Sean was heavier than Kevin. I tried to catch their maneuver on film once but it looked like a Harpo Marx antic.

The ponies were like small horses, not tiny like Shetland ponies. Even so, Sean was tall and when he was on top of one, his legs dangled way down, nearly to the ground.

All summer Kevin worked to help make Sean more independent on these rides. He worked Sean hard and if Sean decided to slide off mid-ride, Kevin did not help him get right back up, but left Sean to walk alongside the pony. Consequently, Sean did a lot more walking during the summer than he had done for years. Usually after a few yards of walking, Sean would tug on Kevin to get his help in mounting the pony again. Kevin would help him on and Sean would hang onto the pony's mane and work to balance himself on the bare back of the animal.

No bridle, no saddle, no helmet, just the pony, a halter and lead line, Kevin and a dirt road that ran for miles out in the middle of the Colorado countryside. It was made to order for Sean who tolerates no headgear of any kind, so that riding at a stable where helmets are required has always been out of the question.

By the end of the summer, photos told the story: Sean had become much more relaxed onboard. He no longer tried to cling to Kevin for dear life and in fact, pushed Kevin away more often than not, so that he could ride without encumbrances, allowing Kevin to simply lead the pony.

Kevin pointed out that by the end of the summer the ponies had also made great progress: no longer did Kevin have to lead each one, pulling on the rope. Each had found its pace and mellowed to the idea that a walk out in the country was more interesting than standing in the corral looking at the same old landscape. By the end of the summer, Kevin didn't have to walk in front of either pony but could walk along its side or even behind it, with a loose grip on the rope.

Sturdy is the word for those ponies. They looked small but they easily carried Sean, who weighed in at over 210 pounds. Kevin said that they were much stronger, proportionately, than horses. I had no idea! I love horses and always have but I know next to nothing about them. Kevin not only knew these ponies but he had trained horses in New Mexico and had a great deal of knowledge under his belt on the subject.

The summer was not all smooth sailing of course. Sean's decision to slide off the side of the pony from time to time got him into trouble more than once. He didn't always decide to slide off during a walk. Sometimes Sean panicked and tried to slide off when the pony was trotting. Not a good idea. He slid off and crashed to the ground more than once.
Kevin would stop and wait for Sean to collect himself. Sean always got up and wanted to get back on, which I find noble. He never gave up. The worst fall was when they were actually on a paved street. Sean decided to slide off and although the pony was walking, Sean's foot got fouled up in the lead rope. Instead of crashing to the ground on his behind, Sean crashed to the pavement head first. Fortunately I was not a witness. Poor Kevin held his breath as he went to Sean and helped him up slowly. Not a scratch. Sean was none the worse for wear and he got straight back on. Kevin exhaled with relief as they continued. Kevin thanked his lucky stars on that one!

Then there was the pig. Carnival, the gelding, always had a fear of pigs. The mare couldn't have cared less about pigs or any other animals but show Carnival a pig and he'd bolt. Well one day as Kevin, Carnival and Sean were walking along their dusty dirt road, someone's pet pot-bellied pig wandered out to greet them. Carnival caught sight of the pig, jumped into the air and threw Sean into a majestic arc before taking off at a gallop. Kevin tried to hold on but was so surprised he couldn't keep the rope in his hands. He ran after the galloping Carnival, leaving Sean sitting in the middle of the dirt road, dazed and confused. Eventually Kevin managed to gather up all concerned. Sean, undaunted, made it up on his feet in one piece and got back onto Carnival with Kevin's help.

Kevin always drove Sean out to their barn, a good 20 miles north, in their old blue van. Kevin and his family enjoyed camping and all sorts of outdoor activities and the van was a vehicle that Sean, in his most curious mode, could not really wreck. Which was good. Sean can take inside lights out, or pull things off of upholstery if he is bored while riding along.

Well, one day Kevin drove Sean out to the barn as usual. When he went around to Sean's door to let him out he had a surprise. Sean refused to get out of the van. It was very hot outside, and being Colorado, it was dusty in the wind. Sean hates wind because it blows things into his eyes, which have no lenses. He took one whiff of the weather outside and absolutely refused to move. This is where Kevin's genius showed itself.

Kevin knew that further attempts to get Sean to come out would be useless. Sean clearly had made up his mind not to move. Kevin closed the van door and went around to the corral. He fetched the horse trailer and hitched it up to the van, then went and got one of the ponies and loaded the pony. Kevin's parents were out of town on holiday. Why not bring the pony back with them and let Sean ride at home? The pony could graze in the back yard and Sean could ride. So they drove back home, into Denver, where Kevin unloaded the pony, put it in the back yard and then opened Sean's door in the van. Sean happily got out, knowing exactly where he was. Then Kevin brought him through the house to the back yard and showed him the pony. Sean immediately wanted Kevin's help to get on. Sean seemed to take his new turn of events in stride. Kevin helped Sean on and led the pony over to our back yard, across the alley from their house.

My husband Mick was enjoying a cigarette outside out back door at the time. He nearly choked when he saw them. Wow! What a great idea! Sean slid off the pony and came over and put his arms over Mick's shoulders. This is Sean's way of giving a big hug. There are precious few people whom Sean favors by doing this. Once he'd done that, Sean pushed Mick over to the pony which was loosely tethered and happily nibbling the grass. Kevin had had to run to his house for something. Mick could not help Sean get onto the pony. He wasn't even going to try. Kevin appeared from his back yard and Sean immediately went over to him and pushed him over to the pony. Kevin dutifully helped Sean up onto "Circus"s' back as Mick watched in awe. Then Kevin led the pony down the alley, having told Mick he'd take the pony and Sean over to the nearby park. Mick watched them disappear down the alley, chuckling at the sight.

A few minutes later Mick realized our golden Labrador, Clancy, was nowhere to be found. Clancy never goes anywhere but keeps us in his sight at all times. Nevertheless, Clancy was gone. Mick went out into the alley and called and whistled. No Clancy. Mick went down to the bottom of the alley and called again. No dog. But the woman across the street asked, "Are you looking for a golden lab?" Mick shouted over, "yes!" "He went down the street following the horse," she said, as though this happens all the time. Mick thanked her and hurried down the street to the park. There he saw Kevin leading the pony around the park with Sean riding and holding on, and Clancy happily following the pony at a safe distance, fascinated by this new animal in the neighborhood.

Mick brought the dog back and left the boys in the park. When they returned after an hour or so, Kevin said Sean had done very well. After a few turns around the park, Kevin had let Sean sit on the grass a few minutes while Kevin gave rides to the kids in the park. After all, it's not every day that a pony shows up in an East Denver park!

The pony stayed in Kevin's back yard where Kevin arranged a water bucket for her. That day I was working and when I came home there was a distinct "fragrance de horse" in the air. I looked around and then saw the pony in Kevin's back yard. My eyes just about zoomed out of my head like a Chuck Jones cartoon character. I raced over with a carrot. To bestow upon Circus. Kevin told me about Sean not wanting to get out of the van so that he had the idea to bring the pony back here. I was astounded! What a brilliant solution! Talk about "thinking outside the box"!

That evening, neighbors came over and admired the pony. She in turn came over to the fence to admire the neighbors. As long as we all plied her with carrots and apple pieces, she hung out at the fence, but she ambled back toward the house when our snacks ran out. Altogether it was a terrific sight to look out of our house and see a horse in the yard across the alley. Every yard needs one!

Kevin kept her there for several days. This way, Sean got a lot more riding in without having to waste time traveling to the barn and back. He and Kevin spent several hours over at the park each morning and the pony was content to stay in the back yard and graze afterwards.

One afternoon Kevin mentioned that he was going to Boulder, but that he'd probably be back late that night. The pony was all set up with water so there was no worry. Of course the neighbors and I all made sure Circus had lots of goodies that evening too. She would not starve. I hit the hay at about 10:00 but didn't see any lights at Kevin's before I went to bed. The next morning when I looked out the back I didn't see the pony but I was in a hurry to get something done and didn't think much of it. Later on when I looked again, she was there, next to the house, munching on grass.

It was midday when I heard the full story. During the early hours of the morning, Circus had decided that she wanted greener pastures. She had maneuvered the back door open (it wasn't locked) and walked right through the house. The front door too was unlocked and with her skillful mouth, she'd opened it and gone through to the front yard. Kevin, who had decided to spend the night in Boulder with friends, came home about 7:00. His neighbor's son called to him as he got out of the car and told him that Circus was out in the front yard. Kevin looked up, horrified to see his horse free and clear in the front yard. She hadn't deemed it necessary to go further than his front yard, yet. He got the halter from the back yard and came around again, approached her and got the halter on her. Then he led her around the alley and back into his yard. A bit later however, while he was in the house, he witnessed her again getting into the house and trying to go out the front door. He managed to turn her around and get her out the back door again! Oh, I wish I'd had a video camera for that!

Well, that day Kevin took Circus back to the barn but picked up Carnival and kept him at the house for a few days, till the end of the weekend. Sean and Kevin spent more riding time at the park and I managed to get some photos of this event.

After one more week of riding, Kevin was due to take a trip to his grandparents' and then head back to school. He would be thoroughly missed not only by Sean but by us too. His work with Sean had been phenomenal. While he had hoped that by the end of the summer, Sean would be hopping on the pony and riding away independently, the truth was that Kevin had made great progress with Sean. Sean had lost his fear of riding and had taken the knocks with the fun and had come out winning. Sean's balance had improved, his confidence had improved and he had loved every minute with Kevin and the ponies. Kevin too had been changed by the whole experience. He had really made a connection with Sean when he saw how happy Sean was, and watched as Sean worked hard because Kevin didn't pamper him.

Kevin went off to his grandparents in North Carolina for a few weeks and Sean pined each morning that Kevin didn't show up to take him to the ponies. It was awful to watch because I saw Sean's morale sort of droop lower and lower as the weeks went by. I wished that I was confident enough to take him riding, as Kevin had invited me to do, but I was not at ease around the ponies. They were not laid back "old paints" even though they were the ripe old age of 23 and 24. "Bomb proof" they were not. Both ponies were ridden from time to time by Kevin and his dad. But Kevin told me about the way Circus could buck either of them off. Once her rider was gone, the mare would happily take off at a run for parts unknown. No, I was not up to dealing with the ponies, even though I bet they would have been fine with Sean.

When Kevin's trip was over, he came back home but only for a few days before he and another guy had to drive to their California college. It happened however, that one night when Kevin was back, Mick and I had been invited to attend a party. We seldom go out due to not having anyone to watch Sean, so I took a chance to see if Kevin would be willing to hang out with Sean that night. Kevin in his usual, informal way, said "sure." He said he would be packing that night, seeing as how he had to drive back to college the next day. Could Sean come over to their place and hang out over there while he packed? Kevin amazed me! His last evening at home and he was willing to share it with Sean! I double checked to make sure his family had not planned any special surprise or something, and found to my delight, nothing had been planned. So it all seemed to work out!

Late in the afternoon when it was nearly time for Mick and me to leave, I went and bought Sean's favorite dinner, cheeseburgers, so that he wouldn't eat Kevin's family out of house and home. Then we delivered Sean and his bag of burgers to Kevin's back yard. Kevin immediately welcomed Sean by grabbing his burger bag and making Sean follow him around the yard. Kevin treats Sean like any other friend. It is refreshing. Sean loved it and giggled as he followed the blurry outline of Kevin around the back yard. Mick and I took off, knowing Sean was in good hands.

When we got back late that evening, Sean was asleep on the sofa, his favorite place to fall asleep. It's where the action and family are in the evenings and he enjoys being in the midst of it. We checked with Kevin that all had gone well, expecting that Sean had been OK at their house and that Kevin had brought him back to fall asleep sometime during the evening. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

I should have realized something had gone on, when I talked to Kevin as soon as we got home. It was late at night and he was still packing. Kevin had to finish that so I talked to him mom, our friend, Janet, who filled me in on what had gone on while we were away. What she relayed remains one of our most memorable descriptions of Sean's persistence.

Janet had cooked a salmon dinner for the family and a couple of Kevin's college friends too. While Sean ate his burgers, the rest of the family sat down to Janet's salmon dinner. Then Kevin disappeared into his room to do his packing. About this time, Sean, who had finished his burgers, got up and started wandering around the house. Sean had spent enough time over there to know that Janet was Kevin's mom. He was also familiar with their house. While Kevin packed and Janet cleaned up the dishes, Sean made his way past the dining table and out into the back yard. He walked around it, then came back into the house. Janet noticed Sean's wandering with interest. He seemed to be looking for something but she didn't know what. What happened next blew her away.

Sean came over to Janet and took her hand, gently but firmly. He led her to the front door, opened it and led her outside. Sean took her straight down the walk out to their blue van parked on the street and placed Janet's hand on the door handle. Nothing could have been more clear. Janet realized with a start that Sean was telling her, "If the horse isn't here then you just have to take me to the horse!" Janet, acting in compliance and not really thinking, opened the van door. Sean promptly hopped in and sat in his usual seat. When Janet tried to get him to get out of the van, he staunchly refused. He just sat there waiting. Janet realized she'd been bested!

She left the unmoving Sean, went back into the house, and told Kevin what had happened. "You'll have to take him to the barn now." There was no way Sean was going to come back into the house. Kevin left his room and his packing and went out to inspect the insistent Sean. Sean sat there but what he didn't know was that the van was out of commission. It had to go to the shop before it could do any more driving. Somehow, Kevin extracted Sean. He led Sean over to his friend's car that they were driving to California in the morning. Packing was abandoned and Kevin, with his friends, all crammed into the little car. They drove up the 20 miles to the barn and spent over an hour riding the ponies. His friends joined in and all had a great time.

When we got home and heard that Kevin had taken Sean riding on Kevin's last night home, we knew he was a saint! But after hearing the whole story we realized he never had a choice. Even so Kevin is still a saint! And will forever be a saint in our eyes!

Pappy teaches us to ride.

We moved to Colorado when Sean was 11. Horse country! When I was little, we'd had an old horse and I had spent many happy hours riding him around bareback, falling off and getting back on. How fun would it be to find a horse that Sean could sit on while I led him around?? We searched several nearby stables but no horse seemed suitable. Then my niece, Megan, who had accompanied us on our quest, suggested we go to a place where she had taken some lessons. No sooner had we gotten there, but we met an instructor who told us she was thinking of giving her old school horse to a theraputic riding center. Instead, we worked out a lease and then and there, Sean had a horse to ride!!

The horse had not only been a schooling horse, but he'd originally been cavalry trained. He was a grey, 22 year old Arab called Pappy. I'm sure his registered name was more sophisticated but we only knew him as Pappy.

As it turns out, Pappy changed our lives. Pappy's owner, Vicky, was so kind. I hadn't been around horses since I was little. She showed me how to pick out Pappy's feet, how to saddle, bridle etc etc correctly. Sean and I went over to the barn nearly every day for a year!

We'll post some pictures of Sean at that time because he was a very skinny kid then. He looked about 7 or 8 really. Sean sat in the saddle and I rode behind him. We had the use of the indoor and outdoor arenas, and the other riders graciously gave us right-of-way at all times. Most of the other riders were there to practice their jumping, so their horses were going pretty fast sometimes. Even so, they were all extremely careful around us, as we made our way around the outside of the arena.

The owners of the barn, Carl and Laura, were just fabulous to us. Laura was another instructor there and she had a lovely calm way about her. She always made sure the other riders knew to give us right-of-way.

Sometimes we rode bareback too, with Vicky's encouragement. She pointed out to me that she had learned to ride bareback, and so had I. We agreed it was the best way for a child to learn to ride!!

Once we were cantering (bareback) around the inside arena. We had the place to ourselves. The turn was a bit too quick and the two of us stayed together while the horse came out from under us on the turn. We fell down to the sawdust, still positioned as though we were riding. Sean laughed and laughed! His laugh was SO LOUD! It echoed all over the arena as we got up, brushed ourselves off, and got back onto Pappy who stood patiently waiting for us.

Sean loved cantering the best. Vicky commented once that Sean had a totally natural seat - he was always in tune with the horse's motion, as though he'd been riding his whole life! Sean certainly loved every minute of it!

More Sean horse stories will be coming in the next installment - and pictures too!

An Introduction

The Sean Project is something my wife, Nancy, and I conceived of. It is a grandiose name for something that we are trying to do. Our son, Sean, lives at home with us. Sean was born deaf/blind and he is developmentally disabled. He is also a fit healthy 25 year old with a lot of energy. He is the sweetest guy you could imagine.

However keeping Sean challenged and learning can be a challenge in itself. So Nancy and I hit on the idea of having Sean work with the horses we have - Bailey and Chuparosa.

Here is a picture of Sean and Nancy going out to feed the horses.




Nancy's first message on the Sean Project Blog: For starters, I will describe my introduction to the deafblind. Then I'll write about Sean's first experience with horses, when he was 11 years old.

Do you have any experience with the deafblind? Have you ever met someone who is blind or deaf?? Or both?

When I was 8 years old, I was fortunate enough to be asked if I'd like to play the young Helen Keller in a professional stage production of "The Miracle Worker". I jumped at the chance! It was very hard work for an 8-year old, working for 3 months from early morning to late nights sometimes, prior to the one week stage run. I had to learn the signing alphabet in addition to learning almost every scene of the play. There were only a few scenes of the entire 3-act play that Helen did not appear in. My older sister, Virginia, was an apprentice at the theatre. She helped me every step of the way.

In addition to the thrill of acting, I met the most wonderful people as part of the experience. Deaf people came to the play; blind people came to the play. They trooped backstage afterwards to meet me and to talk. It was such a thrill to meet them, to be able to talk to them through sign langauge, even though I was a whole lot slower at spelling than they were! Each person I met left me with a sense of awe.

Perhaps that play was my dress rehearsal for my role in life: Sean's mom.

Sean is very different from what Helen Keller was like. For one thing, Helen had heard language and could see before she lost her hearing and sight. Sean however, was born deaf, and with cataracts, due to rubella I contracted when I was pregnant. His cataracts (and thus lenses) were removed before the age of 1. I'm only giving the background here. We have long ago left behind any feelings of remorse about all this so it's probably easier for me to write about it than it is for some people to read about it.

Our next episode will be about Sean's introduction to horses at age 11.