Teamwork

Nancy mentions in her first paragraph in the entry below, we decided very early in our arrival back in the US, to divide up the work. What we have found is that it takes the whole family, working as a team, to get things squared away. Nancy has worked incredibly hard with schools, state entities, city personnel, federal employees and county employees to get Sean all the support he is entitled to.

And this is the key - there is a lot of support out there to get, it takes some hard work and some digging to get all of it. Almost all of the people who work in the various areas are willing to help but most of them really don;t know what is available in other areas outside of theirs. it takes a lot of talking, a lot of searching, many meetings a willingness to help out and gradually things start to work.

If you have a handicapped family member and want some advice - feel free to contact us.

Nancy makes much of the "bread winning" role but the truth is that what she has worked so very hard to get for Sean is just as valuable - and is about equal to the bread I "win".

It may not take a village (snort) but it does take a team.

Sean and his Dad - Observations from Mom

Over the years, Mick and I have had to share Sean duties. This has most often taken the form of Mick working and doing the bread-winning while I take on the Sean care, interacting with the necessary officials, case managers etc, and being at home to handle whatever might come up in an emergency for Sean.

It's been a good arrangement because if I had been doing the bread-winning, very little bread would have been won at all. Maybe a small muffin once or twice.

Some months ago, Sean's care giver changed his schedule. Instead of making the trip out to where we live twice a day, now Sean's care giver just comes out mid-morning to pick Sean up. Then, after their activities of walking, working on sign language, eating lunch, and swimming, Sean gets deposited at his Dad's work in time to coincide with Mick's driving home.

That means that they are together the whole ride home. Sean sits in front in the passenger seat now, instead of being in the back of the car the way he used to be. This is a big change because all the years Sean was growing up, he had to sit in the back of the car because he'd fiddle with the car's controls or the driver constantly. Now, since he's matured and mellowed, he sits next to his Dad all the way home. I think that has made a big impression on Sean.

The time change has also added to the quality Dad time that Sean enjoys. With the lighter evenings, Mick and Sean often walk around Horseshoe Drive together. The mile distance makes for good exercise, fresh air and a shared activity.

Sean is now very used to this increased quality time with his dad! This is evident in several ways which I have observed.

One thing is that when they both come back from their walk, Sean comes through the door first but he pauses and waits for his Dad to come in. Sean will not go into the rest of the house until he knows his Dad is right behind him!

Also, at dinner, I often sit at the table and help Sean eat his dinner. If his Dad is not sitting down at the table too, Sean constantly turns his head around trying to see where Mick is. He has a great deal of attention on his Dad. Sean has always adored his Dad, but this latest show of attention is fairly new.

Sean also initiates the activity of going outside with his Dad. If Mick has not prompted Sean to go outside, Sean will often prompt his Dad to do so!

Needless to say, Mick really enjoys the heck out of this attention!! It's a triumph of sorts because Sean is pretty particular when it comes to lavishing affection on people, and Mick has worked very hard for Sean.

Lovingly, from The Mom